Talkin shop with Pops

I was waiting outside on my older sister’s driveway in Lehi. My cousin was late, we were taking her car back up to Logan for the Homecoming game which I had to work at that night with the rest of the Media Relation minions. I had said goodbye to my family earlier on, because they were still at this crazy mud race in the canyon. I was kind of down that I spent less than 12 hours with them, but I had work to do and that is a priority for me and parents alike. God granted me boon, when my family pulled into the driveway before my cousin.

I was able to hug and kiss my little sisters goodbye and give mom one more hug. But Dad just went and grabbed some gross power bars and sat with me. We talked college football, the best sporting league in the world. I was super anxious to leave so I wouldn’t be late so I doubt I was super conversational. Dad offered to drive me up if I needed to leave right now. My cousin showed up I hugged Dad and jumped in the car. Up in the press box we texted throughout the game. Scores and big plays were passed son to father. This afternoon we talked about the game I told him all that I saw and we talked about how next week’s game needed to play out.

This isn’t a “Disney movie” plug for how great this sport is. My Dad and I will always talk on or off season. But it is great to talk shop with my Father.

Dream like its 2013

So I was talking to my mom today while her and father and the remaining siblings traveled home after a fam-reunion. She was talking about certain ideas that were thrown around by the various family members for the next fam-reunion that should take place in 2013. She talked about urban scavenger hunt that takes place city wide in west coast towns like San Diego or San Francisco. Our family loves little cutsie things like that, I don’t really care either way. I attend these things to play with all the little ones, avoid questions about my future and eat allllll the free well prepared food.
But then I said, I don’t know if I’ll be able to make it.
“You know mom, my wife and I will be working at least two low-level, low pay jobs each. Plane tickets from Philedephia, Boston or Austin might be out of our price range.”
Mom was quick and played along.
“Yeah but by that time your father will have a job, and not just any job. He will be District Manager of some burgeoning medical sales company. 100k a year probably. We will fly you out, or help pay the rental car/gas costs so you can make that cross country trip you have always wanted to make.”
So it was settled my parents would finance the trip my beautiful wife and I will make out to the next reunion. Never mind, that I have eight more months till graduation and no real job leads. My car is less mobile than a terminal cancer patient. Completely small detail that I do not have a wife or any relationship and that the last one still makes me want to use up my yearly “f-bomb” quota in one fell swoop.
We can over look the negligible facts that it has been five years since my Dad has had a job that paid more than what he was making his first year out of college. That this isn’t the first time my family has been food stamp eligible. Little things like that.
I am not whining, Lord in heaven please do not think I am getting down with this. I just really appreciated the little scenario we created together my Mom and I. I have no idea why I loved it so much either. But in a “rough” time like this, can you blame us for enjoying it so much?

Then the past called

So there was this girl last night. Her hair was long down past her shoulders. She had faint freckles around her shoulders. If i hiked over a mountain I could rest my weary arms on her wide hips, like a shelf. Her derriere makes me wish I could palm NBA sized basketballs. I would gladly break my face on concrete if it would spare any harm to come on the most perfect set of legs ever. She has a triangle bottom lip.

I was in a hot dark room with this girl. The windows were open and the night breeze would gust in from time to time. There was abundant use of every flat surface. I could taste the salt in her glisten around her collar bone. Its rare to get opportunities hotter than this. This was as hot and heavy as I am allowed to experience.

Then the past called.

My phone was visible so i took a really fast glance at the name of this ill-timed caller. It was her, it was my past. I couldn't take the call (manners ya know), so I let it go to message. But from that moment on while I have an absolute vision breathing heavy in my ears, I could NOT stop thinking, "why was she calling me tonight?".

The past came ringing in for a 2nd time.

Now I am driving myself absolutely up the walls trying to think, "how am I going to get out of this and listen to her message, WHY IS SHE CALLING TWICE?"

I know exactly why this happened like it did. I know why I wanted to hear a voicemail more than sweat with a goddess. No analysis required.

PINKERTON = i am a mess

Hello my name is Mitch and i am a mess. I am a mess that inadvertently has been living his summer life up to this point in a fashion akin to PINKERTON. Yep that WEEZER album that no one really liked but the losers and now its recognized as one of their best ever. But let me explain track by track the realization i came today while rocking the entire album out.

1. Tired of Sex: i don't have sex, i am a good Mormon boy. With that said due to several failed and still smoldering attempts at making serious relationships work; i decided to take a break from seriousness and MAC my way through May, June, July and August. Its been fun but I catch myself often wishing that i could perceive some substance in any of these girls. When Rivers says "i know i am a sinner, but i can't say no", i know i once shunned the shallow types for exactly what i am doing now, but i can't say no. Because there is no better option at the moment.

2. Why Bother?: "Its just sexual attraction, nothing real so i better keep whacking." This one is a great testament to my attempts to totally mangle and maim my social life and previous social standards. I am only physically attracted to these girls, i know its not real, i've felt real and this isn't it. But then he screams, "i've known alot of girls, whats the harm in knowing one more." Because even if its not real, whats the harm, why bother? Its called a fling for a reason.

3. Across the Sea: Despite my attempts to be reckless, i do have some really cool and legit crushes on some cool and legit girls. Ones i would consider real. I consider them as such because we pen pal and i enjoy our conversations. That is real enough for me.

4. El Scorcho: This one is a hope more than a reality, its about meeting a girl that you click with on multiple levels as suggested by the verses about 1/2 japanese girls, and her not knowing about Green day (back in '96 it was quite a feat). Then his declaration of love, "i think i'd be good for you and you'd be good for me." Its simple and honest which i usually try to be when i am not trying to be reckless.

5. The good life: My life is not a terrible, I have jobs that pay me money and take up my ample time. I have an awesome pad and a car that works and plays PINKERTON really loud. I am cocky/arrogant/egotistical/good-looking/self-aware and for some reason girls of all kinds like this. So to be able to decide hey i am going to make a mess with all this and enjoy it, (and not get struck down by God), means that i cant be having it too hard. If anything i make harder than it needs to be by choice. "But who do i have to blame? nobody but me".

I am Mitch and i am making a mess while its hot and sticky, contact me if you feel so inclined to participate in any way.

Inside Marla

(went on a long drive with Lupe Fiasco this is what came out, my first rhyme)(my truck's name is marla)

Please will you grow up and act like you are young and reckless.
Young and in love so please get some mental correctness

I can’t love if you don’t survive
Act your age girl and be young and alive.


C’mon learn the lessons and leave the baggage
Yeah you been hurt,
Like my whole social network
Know the pain know the game
Just like how they know to jerk

I set that up to bring a smile
You was colder than morning floor tile
Its cool but I wont be chill
My heart is looking for a thrill
Flying on a buzz that ya know only how to kill

Wanna String me up on your front lawn tree?
Invite the whole neighborhood cause it’s warm tonight
Sundresses, front porch and ice tea
I’ll be filled with sweets from anotha
But You want my heart for a party piñata

I do not want to write this

A forced moment of self-degradation
I do not want to write this at all. But I do not have a choice in the matter. What I don’t want to write about is how I drive myself to the brink and over when I get bored. I do not have a choice because I have absolutely nothing else I can do to stave the boredom. I killed every Scrubs episode till the sucky season (I’ll let you decided which one that is). I have watched every Tremors movie in the series and which I think was genius until thirty two minutes into the second installment. There are 4 movies in that series. I make multiple trips to Wal Mart to get only one or two items that I may need the next morning for breakfast. Then I go back to what? You guessed it more Netflix. Blah blah blah blah how I suffer and how I am my own worst enemy.
I told you I do not want to write this. I don’t. I am sitting here thinking how I can make the little tidbits about how I spend my time funny to a reader. How can I depreciate myself in a pathetic situation like David Sedaris? My heart is not in it, this is a forced catharsis. So it is not really cathartic at all just an explanation. Explaining to whom? No reads my blog anyways. So lets force this catharsis even further.
So I am bored and I hate it. I hate it because I think too much. My mind goes 1,000 mph towards self-doubt-Ville. Bo-hoo me right? Yeah I think of what I’ve done wrong to other people. What other people have done wrong to me and why I might have deserved it or not. What am I doing here, should I be somewhere else? Am I doing the right things in my major, am I in the right major? This isn’t motivated by self destruction, the opposite actually. I want to always to fix things. Find problem and fix it. That’s what I do. Combine that with a good memory and enough free time to solve world hunger and bam we got a problem. We got my last two weeks. This is a problem that I must fix. But how do I fix the problem of me looking for problems to fix. That is a nasty nasty nasty catch-22 right there. I laughed at how pointless it seemed till it went all clairvoyant on me. I don’t fix it. I leave it the akslfkjnadwkjfa alone. To fix the problem of constantly looking for problems I stop trying to fix the problem. I fix the problem by not fixing the problem. Holy mother of cows and other tasty animals!!! This catharsis worked. I seriously wasn’t planning on that. I was just making myself take a break from Netflix, catharsis achieved.

What if i dated my old GF's?

I was reading about one of my favorite bands on Wikipedia (a favorite pastime of mine) and at the end of the article it talked about the possibility of a reunion tour. Can you imagine my delight!!! I would put on my most torn up jeans and my meanest black punkrock tee, lace up my chucks real tight and turn 16 again for one night. Delighted until I read that one of guitarists wasn’t too keen on the idea. He was quoted saying, “you want me to get back up there and play some 10 year old songs, that is like me asking you to go get back with your first girlfriend.” Which got me thinking, what if I went back and dated my first girl-friends? I thought it would be really cool to facebook stalk them and get a good bead on who they were (totally possible thanks FB) now, and see how we would match up today. That idea sadly died fast because I could not remember what their names were accurately enough to chase them down. Give me a break; two of them were German exchange students, of which I am still proud of to this today. So I’ll stick with my original plan.

One of the first girls was a German exchange student by the name of Andrea. She was an Aryan dream. 5’10” blonde that sounded just like the Austrian gal from The Last Crusade, which would make me Indiana Jones, great logic. How did I get her to like me, I lied straight to her face. While walking back from an autumn football game , I told her that I was constantly depressed because I had no real close friends, to talk too (sniff sniff). She took it hook line and sinker. “Troubled boy, who has deep underlying feelings, I want him”, she undoubtedly thought. We made out on top of spyglass hill, in my truck cab (didn’t care that I was 15 didn’t have my license yet) and any park benches on the golf course. She played amazing defense though, i couldn’t score with any trick plays. One night she tried a DTR I caved against every fiber of my being and we became official. The next morning at 6:00AM she texted me this line “good morning sweet heart I dreamt of you last night”. ARRRRRGGGHHHHH! I avoided her for two weeks and then gave her the lets just be friends talk and that was the last time we ever talked. If she could deal with my cockiness instead of depression, this might work now. She was a bit needy though and who doesn’t think that’s annoying now.

I can’t even remember this girls name so her name will be Kelly for ease of printing. She I am ashamed to admit was my first and only Myspace hook-up. She lived up in Washington and I think she started talking to me because I liked the then unknown band called “taking back Sunday”. We held a ridiculously cheesy teen-internet-romance for like 4 months until she moved down to my area. We met in the skate shop in the mall, she was Hella Curvy to my 17 year old delight. She was my first ash-tray; I never ever ever want to kiss a smoker again. But I was that horny at 17. I broke up with her when she drunk dialed me asking me to drive 45min out to get her and her dumb friends one night. I told her to find her own ride or die on the return trip. Never underestimate how much I didn’t care back then. I hate anything long distance and I still hate party-girls. I think I also appreciate girls that have different musical tastes than me, makes for better conversation.

Karma will always be a Beezy. I had a friend who I helped get his first GF. Like he would copy-paste what she said onto my AOL IM chat and I would tell him what to say. Cute huh? She had the most beautiful shock green eyes in the whole school. So when she denied him the rights all high school boys think they earned after a month of commitment he dropped her so quick no analogy can accurately describe its speed. So we were talking and I being the imminent sweet talker told her through AIM chat, “no matter what Cameron says I will still think your super cool and my really cute friend.” We hooked up before we even had finished our Slurpee’s in the mall parking lot. Man, were her green eyes something to look at on the pull-back. I left for college and we moved on after the mandatory Christmas break re-hook-up. My friend Cameron and I stayed pretty tight, until I left on my mission. Karma dictates that I would suffer my mission GF to be knocked up by my friend. Needless to say I haven’t really kept in touch with either the girl or my friend. Thank you Karma. This girl was by FAR the most normal and down to the blessed earth. Never any drama, just hang out, make out, chill out, drop off. Super simple. Now if I could only remember her name…