I was reading about one of my favorite bands on Wikipedia (a favorite pastime of mine) and at the end of the article it talked about the possibility of a reunion tour. Can you imagine my delight!!! I would put on my most torn up jeans and my meanest black punkrock tee, lace up my chucks real tight and turn 16 again for one night. Delighted until I read that one of guitarists wasn’t too keen on the idea. He was quoted saying, “you want me to get back up there and play some 10 year old songs, that is like me asking you to go get back with your first girlfriend.” Which got me thinking, what if I went back and dated my first girl-friends? I thought it would be really cool to facebook stalk them and get a good bead on who they were (totally possible thanks FB) now, and see how we would match up today. That idea sadly died fast because I could not remember what their names were accurately enough to chase them down. Give me a break; two of them were German exchange students, of which I am still proud of to this today. So I’ll stick with my original plan.
One of the first girls was a German exchange student by the name of Andrea. She was an Aryan dream. 5’10” blonde that sounded just like the Austrian gal from The Last Crusade, which would make me Indiana Jones, great logic. How did I get her to like me, I lied straight to her face. While walking back from an autumn football game , I told her that I was constantly depressed because I had no real close friends, to talk too (sniff sniff). She took it hook line and sinker. “Troubled boy, who has deep underlying feelings, I want him”, she undoubtedly thought. We made out on top of spyglass hill, in my truck cab (didn’t care that I was 15 didn’t have my license yet) and any park benches on the golf course. She played amazing defense though, i couldn’t score with any trick plays. One night she tried a DTR I caved against every fiber of my being and we became official. The next morning at 6:00AM she texted me this line “good morning sweet heart I dreamt of you last night”. ARRRRRGGGHHHHH! I avoided her for two weeks and then gave her the lets just be friends talk and that was the last time we ever talked. If she could deal with my cockiness instead of depression, this might work now. She was a bit needy though and who doesn’t think that’s annoying now.
I can’t even remember this girls name so her name will be Kelly for ease of printing. She I am ashamed to admit was my first and only Myspace hook-up. She lived up in Washington and I think she started talking to me because I liked the then unknown band called “taking back Sunday”. We held a ridiculously cheesy teen-internet-romance for like 4 months until she moved down to my area. We met in the skate shop in the mall, she was Hella Curvy to my 17 year old delight. She was my first ash-tray; I never ever ever want to kiss a smoker again. But I was that horny at 17. I broke up with her when she drunk dialed me asking me to drive 45min out to get her and her dumb friends one night. I told her to find her own ride or die on the return trip. Never underestimate how much I didn’t care back then. I hate anything long distance and I still hate party-girls. I think I also appreciate girls that have different musical tastes than me, makes for better conversation.
Karma will always be a Beezy. I had a friend who I helped get his first GF. Like he would copy-paste what she said onto my AOL IM chat and I would tell him what to say. Cute huh? She had the most beautiful shock green eyes in the whole school. So when she denied him the rights all high school boys think they earned after a month of commitment he dropped her so quick no analogy can accurately describe its speed. So we were talking and I being the imminent sweet talker told her through AIM chat, “no matter what Cameron says I will still think your super cool and my really cute friend.” We hooked up before we even had finished our Slurpee’s in the mall parking lot. Man, were her green eyes something to look at on the pull-back. I left for college and we moved on after the mandatory Christmas break re-hook-up. My friend Cameron and I stayed pretty tight, until I left on my mission. Karma dictates that I would suffer my mission GF to be knocked up by my friend. Needless to say I haven’t really kept in touch with either the girl or my friend. Thank you Karma. This girl was by FAR the most normal and down to the blessed earth. Never any drama, just hang out, make out, chill out, drop off. Super simple. Now if I could only remember her name…
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