I'll be your entertainment today ladies

There are times in your life when you can see a situation and the different forms it can take very clearly. It almost becomes like a multiple choice question, will the next few moments play out like plan A or plan B? In these moments there may be very plain and simple measures to be taken which will force the plan of your choice to surpass. In other more unfortunate cases there is little you can do and anything you try to do has almost no guarantee of changing the outcome. I pondered this as I stood in front of my cash register today at the beginning of our little Thursday lunch rush. I like Thursdays at work of a few reasons. 1. Thursday is chicken pot pie soup day, and I like that soup. 2. The incredibly attractive group of training dental hygienists that with German efficiency and Italian predictability come in to eat every fourth day of the week. There are about six of these little dentally trained vixens and yes I do get a tad giddy inside when their little wolf pack pops in through the door. As I watched this host heavenly hygienists get in line I became excruciatingly aware of what was going to happen. Plan A. I remain the sole cashier and I get to take the order of every single hungry lady in that group. The line was growing as expected during the lunch rush and to my right is an extra cash register to be used in this very lunch rush occasion. Plan B. If this extra register is made active by a fellow employee, I will only treat at most half of those scrub wearing beauties to my bad one liners. So with this terrible reality facing me I try my hardest to get the line as fast through the ordering process as I can. Price accuracy suffered for those ten minutes. But as I said earlier, sometimes you can do everything possible and it just won’t stop the titanic from smashing that iceberg. My shift leader boss, bless her efficient soul pulls herself up to that day-damaging device of a cash register and runs the line right through. I am so disappointed inside my beating heart, that when three of the Cleopatra’s to my Alexander self come up to make their order, I’ve got nothing. I can’t shoot out one witty line to any of their mundane comments that will leave them a bit surprised that yes; I can turn a phrase and your head all from behind this counter. It is not like I will ever ask one of these girls out, I order their food and they eat the food. Dinner and a show is the effect I am going for, not their digits. But there will always be another Thursday and another chance to impress.

Professional Opinion

Take a moment and ponder upon this interesting question. If you have a “Professional Opinion”, what would it be exactly? Of course to have any fun with this little jitta-bug we would have to dissect the compound phrase of Professional Opinion. The noun (person, place or thing) is definitely “Opinion”. These tend to be annoying and quite easy to form and toss around, drawing as much avoidance and annoyance from surrounding people as the common flu. If you are not careful you may even confuse the two because really they act so much alike. “Opinions are the limits of one’s abilities to find enjoyment in things”, I so botched that quote but I feel it gets the point across. But why not see the magical transformation that opinion performs when it is conjoined with the adjective (thing that describes a noun) “Professional”. Professional is derived from profession, or the task that we perform for certain reasons ie. To buy milk and eggs, help your fellow man, get out of the house, or to stay on parole. Dumbing it down and straightening it out, this service that you perform is so valuable that your superiors will pay you do to it. Thereby making you a professional at whatever task you are performing. Your technical knowledge at your profession and physical capability to do it is better than anyone at the receiving end of your service, so you say. Think professional athletes and just know yours is less interesting but possibly less vain also. Now we add them together, and at last your opinion is no longer avoided like a common house-hold plague. It is actually required at moments and nearly always respected when used within your sphere of professionalism. Our opinion has eaten its wheaties or spinach and now its power is really, well powerful. If you really want to bend things in a new gravity then notice that every moment of history is spurred and created by someone’s professional opinion. In reality, acting upon the professional opinion. Hitler was believed to have a sturdy and worthwhile professional opinion on the supremacy of one race over others. Take it too far you say, I think not. Doctors have so highly regarded professional opinions that they have developed a unique way of sustaining or opposing it amongst themselves. “Start him on two drops of nitro-selaphane and put him in traction; do you concur Dr. Hill?” Lawyer’s suits and plumber’s wrenches fit and clamp thanks to their professional opinions. They are paid to do their service so whatever savoir-faire they voice in conjunction with their profession now has enough weight to sink it to the bottom of any lake. So what is your professional opinion? When can you voice it? How powerful is it really? My professional opinion encompasses all that can be inquired about and announced from behind a cash register. I can be your swaying vote towards choosing sourdough over wheat to go with your tomato basil soup. I will be the reason you took a penny out of your own purse instead out of our Styrofoam penny jar. You would have not bought that overpriced pretzel if I had not professionally up-sale’d it to you. I really don’t want to dwell on the current sphere my professional opinion allows me, but more on the life long quest to up-grade and augment the value of our professional opinion. What is college but really a place that once you jump through their hoops you can say to potential paying bosses, “I have the makings of a nice professional opinion. This professional opinion will make our clientele pay, and therefore line your silver pockets”. But do not under any circumstances take anything written here for a cold, hard, unforgiving fact. Because as much as I try to fake it, no one is paying me for this so my opinion does not have a monetary value. In the vainest sense, it does not have value.